Scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I stumble upon an ad for yet another self-defense weapon, promising to help “keep women safe.” And I immediately feel sick to my stomach. Once again, women are being told that it’s our responsibility to prevent rape, even though we are rarely the ones committing it. And, while rape culture would like us to believe otherwise, we are not the ones who can prevent it.
These so-called “prevention” messages are thrown at women all the time. Before delving into why these tips and tools are incredibly harmful, let’s first admit that they just do not work. Think about it: If all women learn these messages from an early age (and we all do), yet half of all women are still being sexually assaulted – clearly something isn’t working, right?
And the reason these messages aren’t working is because they are aimed at the wrong people. Imagine a drunk driving campaign that aims to teach you how to prevent being killed by a drunk driver. Sounds ludicrous, right? How could you possibly prevent being killed by someone else who chooses to drive drunk? Maybe you could just never leave your home. But, there are sometimes drunk drivers who actually drive into people’s homes, so even that extreme approach won’t actually prevent this tragedy.