If you have recognized that your partner is unhealthy or abusive, you may be wondering how to move forward and end the relationship safely. Leaving any relationship can be tough, and ending an abusive relationship can also be dangerous. It is important to be thoughtful and cautious about how and when you end it, while taking care of yourself in the process.
First, it’s important to understand why it’s important to leave.
People who are abused tend to minimize the abuse. Your partner probably told you that the abuse was not that bad or that you were overreacting. And, in time, you probably started to believe them. Now that you are ending the relationship, it is helpful to have an accurate picture of what was happening in your relationship.
Remember that abuse does not have to be physical. It is frequently emotional or psychological. It often involves manipulation, name-calling, intimidation, and control.
Your partner may be trying to romance you now, to convince you to stay. But you have likely been through that cycle before. You have probably seen first-hand that they will promise lots of things that they will never deliver, or that the changes will be temporary. Unless your partner has taken serious steps to get help and change, the abuse will continue.